A scar on my heart rips open to reveal my emptiness. This day since 2005.
Five years ago I had you. A teenager sulking in a bedroom, looking for an escape. Five years into the future, I'm a teenager lamenting. Wishing for an escape.
I took down a box which read the name "Thomas" and filed it under my bed.

"I never thought tonight could be this close to me"

My veins are plaited, rooted into your heart. When you cut me out of your life I should have died.

breathe, a simple word. But a difficult verb.

The name used to be on that page, a smudge next to the others. If you squint your eyes you can almost see it, below the suface. Almost.

I had a dream once, where my teeth began to fall out, pulverizing as they hit the page. I circled the marks with a black marker pen. In my dreams i can almost visualise the marks. Almost.

I have finally surrendered. You cannot see the marks, they're gone- a memory wiped clean. I can almost remember the name, it's roots firmly dug into the cavities of my mind, i can almost remember. Almost.

To live in a minature world would be awfully wonderful, where troubles fit into the palm of my hand.

I have a fear of falling.
falling through life.
falling in love.
falling out of love.
falling past all of my dreams.
falling.
falling.
falling.
They say if you repeat a word so many times it loses meaning. Apparently, I have not said this word enough.

I'm frightened.